


Finding My Own Way

by digthewriter, orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Merlin - Freeform, Merlin AU, Modern Era, Mpreg, Pregnant Merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 02:13:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/947387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digthewriter/pseuds/digthewriter, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur's father passes away but in order for Arthur to claim his inheritance he must marry a woman (even though he's gay), and what happens when Arthur marries someone out of convenience, <b>and</b> falls for his wife's best friend? (Not an infidelity fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding My Own Way

**Author's Note:**

  * For [drarryxlover](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=drarryxlover).



> **Contains** : Modern AU, random, non-existent Gypsy magic involved. Kind of a delusional Gwen who loses her path for a while in the fic
> 
>  **Notes:** Thanks a million to _kisslicknipsuck_ for the quick beta and the help! Also a thing to note, the ending of the story has a quote that is by the German philosopher: Friedrich Nietzsche. It is: “ _You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist._ ”

**Disclaimer:** Merlin characters are the property of Shine and BBC. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

\--

My father always knew I was gay. 

I think even before I’d realised it. So imagine my surprise—or the non-surprise, I should say—when I discovered that upon his death, he’d left everything to my Uncle Agravaine in his will. 

Agravaine was to monitor my funds until I married a woman and produced an heir, all before the age of twenty-eight. It was still three years away. Until then, I was to live on an allowance. 

Uther Pendragon, ruining my life even after his own death. I really hoped that he'd rot in hell. 

Okay, I didn't really wish that because he _was_ my father, but still. 

“Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?” Morgana, my half-sister suggested. Of course she thought it was an easy thing to do. She’d gotten her third of the estate and was set for life. It must have been nice to be so straight and a _slut_. Of course my father had had no trouble leaving her money. She only shagged blokes—technically, so did I. Again, I digress. 

“An ad for what?” I asked. Surely, she must’ve been joking. 

“A dating ad. Go on a few dates with women and ask them if they want to get married. Someone you could have an open relationship with. So you’d at least have an heir by the time you turn twenty-eight.” It actually hadn't been a bad idea. But how would I find the right woman who wouldn’t take advantage of the situation?

Trying not to think about it too much, or be completely pessimistic, I placed an ad on _Quest.com_. I received several replies to my very vague ad and half-filled profile. Women were more desperate than I had realised. Sifting through the profiles with the help of Gwaine and Percy, I narrowed my choice down to three women: Vivian, Kara, and Elena. 

It was a disaster. One after the other. I told the women that I was bi-sexual, and Kara all but screamed and ran away. Vivian was intrigued and wanted to film a threesome. Elena admitted that she was only going on the date to make her ex-boyfriend jealous. She offered to _pay_ me to accompany her to a party. Apparently, I was hotter than her ex. Well, I suppose that was a compliment, really. No woman had ever asked me to make her boyfriend jealous before. 

I sat defeated in the café after Elena left and browsed through the profiles again on my laptop. 

“Tough week, huh?” the waitress asked as she stopped by my table to clean up. “Don’t you usually date blokes?” she said. 

“It’s complicated.” I smiled at her and let out an exasperated sigh. “Gwen,” I said, looking at her nametag. “You’ve seen me before?” 

“I’m the Assistant Manager here. I work nearly every day,” she answered. “Yeah, I’ve seen you before.” She smiled graciously, more with her eyes than her lips. She was beautiful. 

“I’m Arthur.” I offered my hand for her to shake and she took it with delight. 

“It’s a pleasure,” she said. Her smile really was addicting. 

“Can I buy you a drink sometime?” I asked, unable to help myself. Online dating wasn’t really my forte. If I was to pursue a woman, it would have to be through my personal charm. 

It must have worked because she smiled, gave me her number, and walked away. When she reached the counter, I saw her speak to someone who was—he was—just as beautiful as Gwen, but in a very different way. His skin was the colour of vanilla ice cream whipped with caramel, and his piercing blue eyes stared right at me. For a moment, I forgot to breathe.

\--

The next night, I met up with Gwen at Alice’s Pub where we discovered our similar taste in flavoured martinis. She was a perfect woman. Intelligent, self-reliant, and could be feisty. I could see myself loving Gwen, but only the way a gay man could love a woman. She was attractive, but I wasn’t attracted to her. The entire night, I hoped that she’d talk about her co-worker, but no male co-workers had come up in conversation yet.

“I want to open up my own café,” she said. “It’s going to be a bookshop and a café. People would browse around for books, and there’ll be a coffee bar or a proper sit down restaurant where they could bring the book and eat and drink. No obligations to make any purchases unless they really liked the book.” 

“What’s stopping you?” I asked. It sounded like a really great idea. 

“Finances, mostly,” she answered, sounding a bit disappointed. “Merlin and I have been dreaming about it for ages, but we just don’t have enough saved up yet.” 

“Merlin?” I asked. 

“Oh, he’s my co-worker. You saw him yesterday.” There it was. She’d finally talked about him. “We want to be business partners, but we’re both too young and inexperienced to get a proper business loan.” 

“Sounds like what you really need is an investor,” I said and she nodded. “It’s interesting that you say that.” 

“Why?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“Tell you what, let’s meet tomorrow, and why don’t you bring your business proposal to me. I might be able to help you.” If I couldn’t marry a woman for love, I could definitely marry her for a business investment. 

My father had left me enough money to be able to start a small business. I’m sure Agravaine wouldn’t have a problem if I offered to help out my future wife. I had finally found a loophole. 

I would be lying if I didn’t admit that meeting Merlin in the future had something to do with it. Gwen was a nice girl; she’d make any man a great wife. But from our conversations, I’d gathered that she wasn’t ready for marriage. She was married to the idea of starting her own business. Determination had always been stimulation for me. I respected that about her. 

Two weeks later, I finally made my proposal. 

“Gwen,” I started, “I think you’re a wonderful girl.” 

She sighed. “That’s okay, Arthur, you can save the speech.” 

“No, you misunderstand,” I said interrupting her. “I’m not trying to break up; I’m trying to propose.” 

“Propose?” she asked, her face stunned and turning pale. 

“It’s a business proposal,” I added. 

“Oh.” The colour in her cheeks was beginning to be normal again. 

“I’m gay,” I began again. 

“Yeah, I figured as much,” she retorted. 

“My father—” I continued ignoring her commentary. “He left me a lot of money in his will, but I can’t have it unless I get married and I have an heir.” 

“Okay…” Her face was sceptical again and I continued, panicked. 

“If you and I get married, on paper, then I will get some of the money right away and I can help you with your business. I’m required to have a child by the age of twenty-eight, but I’ve been talking to a lawyer and he’s said that that can be argued, because what if I, or the woman I married, was infertile, so—” 

“So you want to get married and help me with my business. In turn, you’re hoping I’ll give you a child or announce that I’m barren?” 

“Well, when you put it that way,” I hesitated. 

“I’ll do it.” The determination in her voice was uncanny. 

“What?” 

“My father’s been bothering me about getting married for over a year now. Ever since my mother’s passing, he feels he needs to protect me, control me. He thinks my idea of staring my own business is just a child’s dream. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet—and I’ll do anything. Well—almost anything. If I have to marry a gay man to get a loan—which by the way, it will be. I plan on paying you back, every pound—so be it.” 

“You can’t tell anyone about our deal,” I said. I was ecstatic that I’d finally found the perfect woman for my problem, but I had to make sure that she wasn’t going to be mouthing off to anyone that came across her. 

“What about you?” she asked in return. “Are you going to tell anyone?” 

“My sister knows. It was her idea actually, for me to find someone and make it a business deal. Besides that, no one else, really.” I had to be honest with her, both Gwen and Morgana. 

“Okay, I’ll probably only tell Merlin.” 

“Are you two—?" I asked. Gwen had always talked about Merlin in our conversations. She was very fond of him, I could tell. I was envious of how close they seemed to be. 

“No, no. It’s nothing like that,” she assured me. “We are nothing but business partners, like you and I.” She winked. 

“And you trust him?” I needed to be sure. I couldn’t have someone going to Agravaine behind my back and spilling all of my secrets. 

“With my life.” 

I sighed with relief. She still hadn’t told me if he was gay or straight. I desperately looked forward to meeting him.

\--

A month later, Gwen and I were engaged, and at the engagement party, I finally met Mr Merlin Emrys. He was more beautiful in person than I'd remembered, more than in the pictures Gwen had showed me of the two of them.

The engagement party was nothing more than a show. A few close friends of Gwen’s attended along with my Uncle Agravaine. Classy guy that he was he gave me a cheque for fifty thousand pounds at the party. I happily accepted it and handed it to Gwen. 

“Here you go, dear. You’ll be handling the finances anyway,” I joked, and she gladly grabbed it from me. 

“We should go out!” Morgana suggested. “The party’s winding down and I’ve just had too much of a stuffy Pendragon affair for my taste. Let’s go to Club Catrina!” 

“Oh, I love that place,” Merlin chimed in. My breath hitched again. Catrina was Camelot’s openly gay club, and the fact that Merlin had just said he _loved_ it could only mean he frequented it. 

An hour later, we were at Catrina and I was _drunk_. Gwen was dancing with Morgana and Lance. I noticed that Gwen and Morgana hit it off like they were long lost sisters from another lifetime, and in the corner, I saw Merlin. He was _staring_ right at me. I looked around to see if someone else was there, but when I looked at him again, our eyes met. 

My attraction towards him couldn’t be denied. I was hot. He was hot. I felt my cock twitch and I knew I was in trouble. I walked up to the bar and before I could say anything, he offered me a Cranberry Vodka Martini. 

“Gwen told me these are your favourite,” he said, yelling into my ear since the club was so loud. His hot breath didn’t help my cause. His body brushed up on my side and I shivered. “Sorry, didn’t mean to invade your personal space.” 

“It’s alright,” I mumbled back, unsure if he'd actually heard me. 

“I know about you and Gwen,” he said. “She trusts me, and you can too.” He smiled and he did the same thing that Gwen had done the first time. He smiled more than his eyes than his lips. Again, I’d forgotten to breathe. 

His eyes lit up with his grin, making him irresistible. 

“It’s rather unfortunate that I didn’t meet you before,” I found myself blurting out. 

“I know. Me too,” he replied squeezing my shoulder in a ‘brotherly’ manner. “You only came to the café four times a week.” He walked away immediately after and I felt like a bigger idiot than ever before.

He was right. I’d gone to the café for almost a year and I had never looked up or talked to anyone before the night I met Gwen. Merlin probably waited on me as well. I just didn’t—fuck, I _was_ the biggest idiot that ever lived.

\--

Gwen moved into my one bedroom flat a week after. And a week after that, we went house-hunting. My flat was too small to begin with, and with the two of us, it was unbearable. We slept in the same room to keep up appearances, especially when Agravaine visited, which he did an awful lot, but she also needed space to set up an office.

“I think we should just get married in a registry office,” Gwen said the day after we’d signed the paperwork for a new house. Agravaine was there for that too. It seemed that my life was perfectly fine for several years until Agravaine popped out of nowhere and was just _always in my life_. I almost wished I had had my father back, and then I wouldn’t have had to deal with him. 

“Why?” I asked. I wasn’t against the idea. It actually seemed perfect. 

“Just to get it over with and get Agravaine out of my hair.” I sighed with relief. “Why is he _everywhere_?” she asked. 

“I know!” I offered in return. “I’m almost willing to live on my savings and give up my inheritance just so he’d get out of my face!” 

“You can’t do that, Arthur,” Gwen said. “I know it seems easy, but you can’t let him win!” 

I smiled. I really loved Gwen. She just had this amazing fire and I really felt that she brought out the best in me.

“I know,” I said. “I won’t. I’ll beat him at his own game.” 

“We’ll beat him, together,” she said. Gwen was the most loyal woman you could ever meet, and I was lucky to have her.

Unfortunately for me at that moment, I didn’t realise that she had fallen in love with me. What was worse was what I did to her after.

\--

Ever since Gwen had gotten the loan for her business, she’d worked day and night with Merlin, searching for proper real estate, coffee vendors, book supplies, and publishers.

We had purposely bought a three bedroom house. We slept in the same room, but we were living like roommates. The second bedroom was Gwen’s office, and the third was the guest room, which had been unofficially designated as Merlin’s room. 

I avoided Merlin and he avoided me. I wasn’t sure what his reason was for doing so, but I knew how attracted I was to him. It was the kind of attraction I'd wished I'd had for Gwen, but unfortunately I had it for Merlin, and _boy_ I had it bad. 

I figured he avoided me because of Gwen. Gwen had revealed to me the night we got married that Merlin didn’t support the arrangement. He was Gwen’s friend and supported her, but he didn’t think it was the right thing for _me_ to do. 

He didn’t even know me, and yet made judgements about me. 

It was Gwaine’s birthday and I was out late with the boys. This was normal. I was always out late and she was always working late. I figured by the time I’d arrived home, she would be sleeping. If Merlin were there, he’d be sleeping too. 

Percy gave me a lift to my house. I opened the door and heard someone in the kitchen. I figured it was Gwen. She was probably making tea. 

I stumbled into the kitchen for water and I see _him_. 

“Oh,” I said. 

“Sorry,” he answered. 

“I thought you were Gwen.” 

“Sorry to disappoint you.” 

“Why do you hate me?” I finally asked. I figured I probably wouldn’t see Merlin alone again and I had had enough liquid courage to say whatever I wanted. 

“Hate you?” He sounded surprised. “I don’t—I don’t hate you.” 

“Then—” 

“I should get to bed,” he said and brushed past me. 

I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards myself. “Mind if I join you?” That’s not what I was going to say. It was what I wanted to say, but what I was going to say was, ‘I want to talk to you.’

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he replied. Bless him for having sense. 

Damn me for never backing down from a challenge. I tightened my grip around his arm and used my other hand to tease him right above his trousers. “Actually, I think that’s a very good idea.” 

“Arthur…” he whispered. 

“God, I love the way you say my name, _Merlin_ ,” I whispered in return. 

A moment later, I’d pulled him towards me and his hand grabbed the back of my neck. “I wasn’t supposed to want you,” he mumbled in my ear, his hot breath making me jerk towards him. I was so turned on. 

“Then why do you?” I said, grabbing his now very prominent erection above his trousers. 

He moaned in my ear and I jerked my hips towards him again. I was ready to take him right there, in the kitchen, fuck him against the kitchen counter. And that was exactly what I did. I didn't even think twice. I couldn’t wait anymore. 

I pushed him against the counter. He held onto it tight with both hands. I pulled down his trousers and boxers, then mine, but not before grabbing lube from the back pocket of my jeans. I had hoped to find someone to shag at Gwaine’s party, I was always prepared. 

Merlin wrapped his legs around me, arching up, and I found his hole with my fingers. I paused and looked at him. I wanted to make sure he wanted this, he wanted me. He nodded and gestured for me to continue. 

Merlin whimpered when I pushed one lube-soaked finger in, then another. 

“I can’t wait,” I confessed. 

“Then don’t,” he answered. 

A fire ignited inside me. It roared knowing that Merlin wanted this as much as me. I quickly removed my fingers and lined myself with Merlin’s entrance. I slowly pushed in. Fuck, he was _tight_. 

His tight heat held me for a while before I moved, slowly—taking in my first experience with Merlin. Remembering every moan, every thrust. Merlin closed his eyes and I thrust into him over and over again. 

“Fuck, Merlin,” I whispered repeatedly. 

“Want you. Want you, Arthur,” he said in return. 

I don’t know how long we moved for, but it was incredible and I came inside him as I continued to thrust, refusing to let go until it was absolutely necessary. I finally pulled out of him and he unwrapped his legs. I pushed my lips on his. We hadn’t even kissed and I’d fucked him. He responded eagerly to my kiss, taking in my tongue as frantically as he’d taken in my cock. My hand reached down to his erection again and I began stroking him. He came in my hand quickly as he moaned in my mouth, sucking my tongue. 

God, he was beautiful, and I was afraid that I could easily get used to this, to him. And that scared me. 

Moments later we cleaned up and I had sobered up a bit when he finally broke the silence. 

“I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have allowed—”

“Why?” I asked. Did he not like it? Was he with someone else? 

“Gwen’s in love with you,” he declared. 

“What?” I nearly screamed in shock. 

“Yeah, she told me. She didn’t mean to but—I mean, I can see why—” 

“She knows I’m gay and she _knows_ this isn’t a real marriage.” I had no idea when Gwen could have fallen in love with me. Yeah, we were getting really close. I considered her a good friend, and we’d stay up late at night talking. Sometimes I’d hold her as we fell asleep— _Oh_. I’d been so _stupid_. 

“What’s going on in here?” Gwen’s voice reached the kitchen before she did. I distanced myself away from Merlin and began filling a glass with water. “Arthur, Merlin, what time is it?” she asked as I turned to her and smiled, hiding my nervousness. 

“I just got home and was thirsty,” I offered. 

“And I ran into Arthur in the kitchen, so we were talking,” Merlin added. 

“All right, but, Merlin, don’t be up too late. We’ve got a vendor appointment at nine o’clock.” She smiled at me and went back to bed. I felt my stomach turn. I hadn’t cheated on her. We weren’t in a real marriage, but then why did it feel like I had? 

It would have been easier to stay away from Merlin if I hadn't known that he wanted me too. 

Gwen left at seven thirty in the morning, stating that she wanted to see her dad before going to the business appointment. “If you see Merlin, tell him, would you? Tell him to just come to the meeting on time.” 

I waited ten minutes after she’d left the house and then went into Merlin’s room. He wasn’t there, but I heard the shower. I couldn’t stop myself. I knew I couldn’t have even if I had tried. I wanted him. I’d never wanted anything more. 

The great thing about buying an old house was that they didn’t have proper locks in the bathrooms. Gwen and I were used to being around each other, so we’d never bothered installing the locks. I opened the door slowly and, through the steam, I saw Merlin’s silhouette behind the glass door. 

I was hard, and I wanted him. It wasn’t just the alcohol from the night before. I’d initially thought that was it, but I knew it wasn’t. I was stone cold sober and I wanted nothing more than to push him against that wall and fuck him again. 

I don’t know what had come over me, but all I knew was that I needed Merlin. 

I walked in and closed the door behind me. He must have heard me as he stopped and turned the water off. “What is it?” he said. 

I didn’t reply. I took off my clothes and then opened the shower door. _Fuck_. His tight body, wet with water dripping down from head to toe. 

“Gwen’s left and she wanted me to tell you to not be late for the meeting,” I said. I don't know what I thought was going to happen when I entered that shower. 

“And you needed to tell me this naked?” he asked and I was rattled. 

“If you want me to leave—” I turned to walk away. 

Merlin looked at me and didn’t reply. He turned the water on and handed me soap. “Close the shower door; I don’t want to have to clean the mess,” he said. I followed his instructions and, moments later, I was on my knees, sucking him. Ten minutes later, we were on the bed, _my bed_ , and he was on his hands and knees, and I was inside him, fucking him hungrily. 

At nine-thirty Gwen phoned asking where Merlin was. He was late to the meeting.

\--

After the first few times we’d been together, Merlin began spending a lot more nights at the house. Gwen, Merlin, and I would talk well into the night until Gwen would take her leave and I’d fuck Merlin on the sofa or in the guest room. She must have noticed something peculiar because she’d started staying up with us later and longer.

I’d gone a week without Merlin and I was going mad. What had been worse was that I was hard all the time and Gwen had started making attempts at seducing me. 

“I can help you with that, you know.” She finally spoke to me about her advances because I’d pretended that I hadn't noticed she was trying to seduce me. “Help you release some stress.” Her hands travelled down to my cock and slowly started stroking me. 

“Gwen, please don’t.” 

“Why not, Arthur?” she asked. “I’m your wife, after all.” 

“I know, but our relationship—” 

“It can change,” she offered. “You need to have a baby to keep your inheritance. Instead of saying we can’t have children, why don’t we give it a try?” 

“Gwen!” I was mortified. I didn’t know where that came from. I’d married Gwen because I didn’t think she’d want that—I was wrong. “I have to go!” I ran out of the house in my pyjamas and got in my car. I didn’t know where I would go. I called a few of my friends but they all seemed to be out or sleeping. I eventually called Merlin. 

Merlin opened the door to his flat and I all but jumped on him like a hungry fox. 

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked. He felt it too, something wasn’t right. 

“I don’t know. I’m so horny. It can’t just be that we haven't—for a week—” 

“Oh,” he said. A guilty look was all over his face. “Gwen confides in me,” he eventually added. "Something’s happened to her. She told me that she went to a _gypsy_ in Avalon and got a potion."

“A potion? For what?” I asked, surprised and confused. 

“I don’t know what it’s for, but Gwen said it was so you’d be hers forever.” 

“Did she get me an erection potion? So I’d fuck her?” I asked. “She’s been going on about having a baby.”

“Yeah, I think she might be under the impression that she can change you to want her, if she had your baby,” Merlin said and I couldn’t help but laugh. “That’s mean, Arthur. You need to speak to her. Tell her about us.” 

“Why don’t you tell her about us?” I retorted. 

“Maybe we can both do it, together?” he offered. Merlin always wanted to do the right thing. I loved that about him. 

“I have a better idea,” I replied instead. “Come by the house tomorrow night for dinner, and plan to stay the night.” 

I didn’t allow him to speak any more. I needed to take care of my erection. I needed Merlin that night, just like I needed him every night. That night Merlin pushed me on the bed and got on top of me, slowly sinking down on my hard cock. Usually he was under me; his favourite position was to be on all fours, but that night it was incredible. I loved watching him go up and down with a steady rhythm. My cock burned within his tight heat and it didn’t take long for me to explode inside him. 

“Fuck, Merlin. I love you,” I declared. I hadn't meant to utter the words but I knew that I loved him. I think I'd loved him from that first night in the kitchen. 

That was the first night we’d spend together. I'd hated having to leave him every night and going to sleep next to Gwen. Holding him all night was wonderful and I wished we could do it always. His body curved into mine as we fell asleep together naked. 

“I love you too, Arthur,” he whispered right before falling asleep.

\--

I woke up the next day to over fifteen missed calls and twelve text messages from Gwen. I knew I should have told her then, but I didn’t want to ruin what I had with Merlin. I was wrong, but I shouldn’t have taken the easy way out.

The next day, after I returned Gwen’s calls, telling her that I had slept at a friend’s, I went in search of this supposed _gypsy_ in Avalon. I went to the dodgy market and found a woman called Cailleach. She gave me a sleeping draught. “Two drops in the tea and the person will be asleep for over ten hours,” she said. “The only thing that can break the sleeping spell is the smell of a Durian.”

I was getting tired of Gwen interfering in my personal life. I was tired of her staying up late for me or finding a reason to pick a fight, or coming in between Merlin and I. I bought the draught so she’d go to bed early and leave me alone. It was wrong, I know, I should have just talked to her. But I was my father’s son. I was more action than words. It had always been my shortcoming.

I paid a heavy price for the draught and went home. 

That night Merlin arrived for dinner. After dinner I followed the gypsy’s instructions and put two drops in Gwen’s tea. She fell asleep on the sofa right in front of us. Merlin and I carried her to the bed. Now I was free to be with him all night. 

I knew it was wrong. Merlin knew it was wrong, but Gwen had left us no choice. I didn’t want to break her heart by telling her that I’d been shagging—no—that I was in love with her best friend. 

Whatever potion Gwen was feeding me, I happily took. It made me ache with an erection for hours, but at night I was able to be with Merlin and shag him in every corner of the house. It was her own doing that had caused me to continue pouring the sleeping draught in her tea. She’d stopped badgering me about fucking her and things were normal between her and Merlin. 

Or so I'd thought. 

“I’m—I'm sick,” Merlin told me one night. It had been months and we’d been blissfully fucking on his bed in the guest bedroom. I’d held him as we slept and we’d wake up around five when I’d shag him again before going to sleep in my bed next to Gwen. 

“What do you mean, 'sick'?” I asked. “Have you got the flu?” 

Merlin had been looking sick for a few weeks and I was convinced that he had the flu. I suppose he'd finally gone to the doctor’s. 

“I went to see Gaius,” he said. 

“Who’s Gaius?” 

“He’s a family... _friend_.” 

“Why didn’t you go see a real doctor?” I asked, annoyed and confused. 

“I did. The doctor said that the symptoms I had weren’t normal. I mean, they were normal for a woman, but not a man.” 

“I don’t understand, Merlin. What are you trying to say?” I saw the look of fear in Merlin’s eyes. What was wrong? Was he dying? 

“Arthur, I’m part gypsy,” he said. I just nodded. I didn’t care if he was part or full gypsy. That didn’t mean anything to me. 

“That means—I'm different. I’ve always been different. I think—” 

“What is it, Merlin?” I roared. I didn’t mean to scare him, but I was growing impatient. “Just tell me what it is!” 

“I’m pregnant!” 

“What?” That was not funny. “Is this some kind of a joke? That’s disgusting, Merlin!” 

“It’s not a joke. Gypsy men can get pregnant. I think—that's what I was trying to tell you. The potion that Gwen was giving you, I think it was a fertility potion. You took it and you fucked me. She wanted you to have sex with her and get her pregnant. Except that—” 

My heart sank and I crashed on the sofa behind me. “Is this real? Is this _really_ possible?” 

“It is,” Merlin assured me. “Gaius is more than a family friend. He’s a gypsy doctor. He’s confirmed it.” 

“What are we going to do?” I asked. I was more talking to myself than anything else. “What am I going to tell Gwen?” 

“We can tell her together,” Merlin said. “I won’t let you do this alone.” He held my hand as he sat next to me on the sofa. “That is if you still—” 

“I still want you, Merlin. Stop thinking stupid things.” The last thing I needed was for Merlin to doubt himself. I needed to fix this. I needed to fix things with Gwen, and I needed to take care of Merlin and the baby. 

“Just wait a few days, I need to do something first.” 

Merlin nodded when I asked him for this one last favour. I was going to fix everything. I had a plan!

\--

To say that Gwen was shattered would be an understatement. She was more than devastated. She threw things around the house, broke every flower vase she'd bought, along with all the picture frames of the three of us, and chucked anything that was throw able on the ground.

“How could you do this to me?” she roared. 

“Do this to you?” I couldn’t believe her. “You were feeding me a fertility potion in hopes of fucking me so I could get your pregnant!” 

“I didn’t think you’d start fucking my best friend!” she retorted. 

“I am gay, Gwen. Merlin _is_ gay.” I stared at her as I held Merlin’s hand and squeezed it tight. He squeezed it back to reassure me. What I felt in that moment was more than what I’d ever felt for Gwen, or anyone else for that matter. 

“I love him,” I announced. “I will take care of him, protect him.” 

“And me?” Gwen asked. She’d calmed down and seen me and Merlin together. She must have known. No one is that stupid, and Gwen had always been a smart girl. 

“We had a business agreement, Gwen. You married me, and I loaned you the money to start your business with Merlin. I never said I loved you. I never gave you false hope. You gave yourself the false hope. You cheated yourself when you tried to trick me.” 

“Now you’ll never get that inheritance money,” she retaliated. 

“Don’t even act like this was about you doing me a favour, Gwen,” I answered. “You never cared about that. You’d just mistaken our friendship for something it wasn’t. It was just friendship. I loved you. I love you, like a friend, but nothing more. I couldn’t if I tried. I love Merlin.” 

“Now what? You’ll divorce me, marry Merlin?” 

“Yes, exactly,” I answered. I had it all worked out. 

“And the inheritance?” she asked. 

“I’ve talked to my lawyer. I’ve got the papers drawn out. I am giving you full ownership of Blacksmith Books & Café in the divorce. My father’s will stated that he wanted me to get married, and he wanted me to have an heir. My father was a fool to never have believed in gypsies. I have gotten married, and I am having a child before the age of twenty-eight. The inheritance is mine. It’s _ours_.” I pulled Merlin close to me, wrapping my arm around him. 

“We still care about you, Gwen,” Merlin said against my advisement. She glared at him and he let go of me to approach her. “I love you, like a sister. You know that. I didn’t mean to hurt you. Neither of us did. I didn’t think you would—” 

Gwen broke down into tears and Merlin embraced her. I was afraid of what might happen next. I didn’t trust her. Not anymore. But Merlin didn’t flinch. He was still her best friend and he held her while she cried. She’d been so lost; I could see that, and Merlin was just being his amazing self and being loyal. 

“I’m sorry,” she eventually said. “I didn’t mean for things to get out of hand. I—I saw the way you two were. You were so attracted to each other. I could feel it and I was just jealous. Instead of finding something for myself, the way you two had found each other, I wanted to steal what you had. I’m so sorry!” 

It wasn’t long until I reached for her as well and hugged her. I cared deeply for Gwen and it broke my heart to see her suffer this way. 

I learned my lesson about lying then. I should have listened to Merlin from the start. I should have told Gwen the truth. It was incredible how I'd always thought of Gwen as my saviour and turned out it was Merlin all along. 

Three months after, when my divorce with Gwen was finalised, I married Merlin. We had a proper gypsy wedding, with the decorations, the tribal music, and dancers. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. Morgana had the most fun, I think. She was convinced that she had been a gypsy in her past life. 

During Merlin’s last trimester Gaius stayed with us, and when the time was right, he along with two other physicians performed a caesarean section on Merlin to help deliver the baby. Turns out, there was a proper gypsy hospital in the basement of one of the shops in Avalon. 

Merlin gave me a beautiful daughter. We named her Ygraine Pendragon after my mother. Two months after Ygraine was born, Merlin continued working with Gwen at the Blacksmith Books and Café. 

Gwen was back to being her old self just like when I’d first met her. She even eventually married Lance a few years later. Morgana had introduced them and I knew that Lance had instantly fallen for her. I was happy for them. She’d confessed to Merlin that Lance gave her the fire that she’d seen between Merlin and me. I was happy for her. We were all together and we were happy. 

I put most of my father’s inheritance in savings for Ygraine’s college education. My father was right after all; it was important to have a family and someone to carry out your blood line. He'd just never realised that there was his way and there was my way. But as for the right way or the only way, it simply did not exist. 

I always had to remember to thank Merlin for introducing me to Nietzsche.

_FIN_


End file.
